Have you ever noticed the similarities between attracting a prospective customer and wooing a mate?

There are lots of similarities when you think about it. For example, before the relationship develops, there may be frequent but informal contact. In business, that may look like a weekly e-newsletter that over time (as trust is established) results in a client project. In a personal relationship, it may take the form of frequent encounters at the corner Starbucks.

As it blossoms, there is usually lots of attention and care given to the relationship. In business, this is evidenced by asking questions of understanding, attentive listening, clarifying expectations, and responding to needs. In a personal relationship, these behaviors also apply.

Another similarity is that after the honeymoon phase, personal attention and care tend to diminish. Clients tend to hear from you less often and may need to leave a second message before you respond. And your mate may long for the time when you looked dreamily across the table, a slight smile on your face, while hanging on her every word.

But today you have competing priorities and don’t feel that you can be as responsive as some customers and mates require. And for this reason, among others, not every story has a happy ending…

That said, there are actions you can take immediately whether serving a customer or someone with whom you have a bit more of a, shall we say, intimate relationship, that will keep their eyes from wandering to the “competition.”

Express genuine interest. With customers, this is accomplished by making eye contact, smiling, and adding enthusiasm to your voice. Also, asking questions about preferences and being responsive to needs signal genuine interest. Chances are, your significant other appreciates the same type of attention.

Offer sincere and specific compliments. Genuine compliments make everyone feel better about themselves. A compliment is verbal sunshine. Shine on.

Share unique knowledge. In a customer service setting, this means sharing knowledge that goes beyond job knowledge that is expected (e.g., hours of operation, return policy, etc.). Unique knowledge has character and substance. It is interesting, unique, and unexpected (e.g., the history of the location, privileged “insider” information, etc.). Similarly, personal relationships benefit by sharing insights and feelings that transcend the expected (e.g., “How was work?”) and demonstrate personal interest (e.g., “Tell me about your day.”).

Convey authentic enthusiasm. We all do this differently. Some are bubbly. Others are less animated but equally enthusiastic. It’s easy to detect whether at work or home. They move with purpose. The lights are on. They are engaged.

Use appropriate humor. The key word is appropriate. With customers you need to use discretion and keep it professional so as not to offend. In personal relationships, you have a bit more leeway. Either way, laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Provide pleasant surprises. Have you ever receive an unexpected upgrade on a flight, at a hotel, or when renting a car? How did it make you feel? It’s a positive feeling that can be replicated again and again with something as simple as a card, a bottle of water, or a single rose…

Deliver service heroics. This sort of action is rarely required of us. It’s the exception, not the rule. But when the situation requires it and we go “above and beyond” in order to wow our customer (e.g., meet an overnight deadline) or impress that someone special (e.g., breakfast in bed), it makes a lasting positive impression that reaffirms her importance and reinforces the relationship.

My hope for everyone reading this post is that you would find some truth in it. Reflect on the quality of your own personal customer service to those people who matter the most to you at work and at home.

Are you developing relationships by demonstrating the types of behaviors outlined above or are you communicating indifference by merely going through the motions?

Be intentional about applying these behaviors and I assure you that your most important customers—both at work and at home—will appreciate you for it and, most importantly, will only have eyes for you.

The other day I was waiting in line at Starbucks and noticed a display of coffee mugs that were selling for $8.95. My first thought was that another coffee cup was the last thing I needed. And, if I were going to buy one, I likely wouldn’t pay full price. I’d look around for a mug with a bright red price sticker on it because, after all, a mug’s a mug. Right?

Maybe not. Alongside the mugs, I noticed a conspicuous display card containing a bit of background information on the mug. It read:

SAFARA MUG

Made by potters in Toki City, Japan, using techniques passed from generation to generation for more than 400 years.

$8.95

No longer was this “just another coffee mug.” It was a unique piece of pottery that had been crafted by artisans with specialized knowledge that had been passed down from one generation to the next. And no longer was a selling price of $8.95 too high. It appeared reasonable, given the origin and craftsmanship of the mug.

Now, I have no illusions that this mug will appreciate in value and one day become a collector’s item worthy of a display case in the Smithsonian. That’s not the point. The point is that this commodity, a coffee mug, had been transformed into a piece of art by simply adding 19 words of unique knowledge.

Unique knowledge is interesting, unexpected, and adds value to the customer experience. It’s not ordinary or predictable. It’s sexy in the sense that it attracts attention. You notice it. It’s unique and memorable.

Consider your own products and services. How can you add value by including unique knowledge—a story that will captivate your customers, reposition your offerings as anything but commodities, and justify your price premiums?

I read a Wall Street Journal article this week by Timothy W. Martin titled, Choice Advice From Meat Cutters. The article highlighted the benefits of training butchers at leading supermarket chains to engage customers as a chef rather than as simply a meat cutter. The difference separates a memorable, customer-focused experience from an ordinary, process-focused transaction at the meat counter.

As the scale of operations have grown at most supermarkets, many meat cutters disappeared from the meat cases to backrooms where interactions with shoppers were limited to announcements over the intercom. Their roles shifted from a familiar butcher who formed close bonds with shoppers, remembering names and preferences (people-focused), to an anonymous meat cutter whose priority was churning out enough hamburger patties and chuck steaks to fill meat cases (process-focused).

In the article, Frank Thurlow, director of meat and seafood merchandising at Winn-Dixie Stores, observed, “Meat cutters have a reputation for not being the most personable, outgoing types of individuals. I mean, we sit in the back room all day and cut up animals.”

So, how do you address this perception and change it in order to increase sales at the meat counter while boosting employee morale and job satisfaction?

There are many factors including vital processes such as the selection and onboarding of employees. The quality of customer service provided by an employee will never exceed the quality of customer service he or she is ready, willing, and able to deliver. The scope of this blog post cannot take into account every variable, so I’ll just focus on the obvious one: sharing unique knowledge.

Unique knowledge is not the same as job knowledge. Job knowledge is necessary for an employee to be proficient in his or her job role. It is expected by the customer and, generally speaking, is transactional—not memorable. Unique knowledge, when provided by the employee, is unexpected, refreshing, valued, and memorable. It’s the sizzle!

To illustrate the difference, read this testimonial from Aram Dakarian, meat manager at Jewel supermarket in Chicago: “Before, I’d tell customers just to squeeze out the blood and add some salt and pepper (job knowledge).” Now he eagerly offers cooking tips (unique knowledge). For example, for baked chicken, he recommends olive oil with a dash of lemon pepper. For steaks, a garlic or peppercorn seasoning rub, or two hours soaking in a wine sauce marinade.

Instead of simply sharing job knowledge: A flat-iron steak is cut from the shoulder of a steer, he can add more value by sharing unique knowledge: How to properly grill a flat-iron steak and the difference between dry (grilled or broiled) and wet (simmering or braising) cooking.

Grocers are banking on shoppers’ willingness to pay higher shelf prices in return for general dinner advice. And there is also a benefit to employees as described by Mr. Dakarian: “Now, I’m getting more in-depth with the meat, looking at it more like a chef. It makes me feel good.”

While customers appreciate nice employees, they value knowledgeable employees. And the more unique knowledge employees possess, the more value they bring to the customer experience.

Consider the job knowledge that is expected from a typical waiter at a fine dining restaurant. For instance, he or she might be expected to know the menu items well in terms of ingredients, sauces, substitutions—that sort of thing. The waiter would also be expected to know about aspects of the menu that might change from time to time such as the market prices of fresh fish, daily specials, etc.

What may not be expected from a waiter is unique knowledge. By definition, this knowledge is unexpected—that makes it unique. Because it’s unique, it adds to the service experience and is memorable. Ordinary job knowledge is expected and produces predictable results. Because it’s ordinary, it does not add to the service experience and is, ultimately, forgettable.

Here’s an illustration of two waiter scripts, one conveying job knowledge (i.e., bland and routine—and quite forgettable) and the other conveying unique knowledge (i.e., unexpected and refreshing—and quite memorable!):

1. Job knowledge:

“Tonight, our featured appetizer is the Pâté de Foie Gras. May I interest you in an order?”

2. Unique knowledge:

“Our chef trained at the prestigious Restaurant School in Philadelphia and apprenticed at Le Bec Fin. She also traveled to France to refine her knowledge of French delicacies such as truffles, escargot, and foie gras. In fact, our Pâté de Foie Gras is our featured appetizer. May I tempt you with an order?”

Now, seriously, if you’re on the receiving end of each of these proposals, which one might you accept—even if you previously had no intention of ordering an appetizer? Exactly.

And here’s something else I’ve found to be true: Which proposal is likely to bring up the question of price (which may influence a customer’s decision of whether or not to order the appetizer)? After hearing the second proposal (and swallowing, as the waiter’s proposal has likely activated a Pavlovian response…) my hunch is that, for most customers, the price of the appetizer would be irrelevant.

So, make it a point to acquire as much unique knowledge as you possibly can about products, services, the culture and history of your business, the building and neighborhood you operate in, the people (as in the example above), and even proper names (e.g., “Why is the restaurant named Ruth’s Chris anyway?”). You will be providing your customers with a richer service experience and they will be making you, well, richer!

While customers appreciate nice employees, they value knowledgeable employees. And the more unique knowledge employees possess, the more value they bring to the customer experience.

A couple of years ago, I was shopping for a garment bag for my wife.  Her job required travel and her current bag was showing serious signs of wear and tear.  I stopped into one of those mall luggage stores and the salesperson showed me a black Tumi garment bag.  As I was inspecting the bag I noticed the price was $400.  I said to the salesperson, “Wow.  I really like the bag but four hundred dollars is more than I was planning to spend.  Do these bags ever go on sale?”  She answered, “The only time I’ve seen these bags discounted is when a color or style has been discontinued.”  I didn’t see anything else I was interested in buying at the store and so thanked the woman and left.

A few minutes later I stopped by a second luggage store at the mall and looked around. Again, the only bag that caught my eye was the same black Tumi garment bag.  I checked the price tag: $400.  A salesperson approached me about this time and asked if she could answer any questions.  I posed the same question I’d asked in the previous store, “I really like this bag but four hundred dollars is more than I was planning to spend.  Do these bags ever go on sale?” Again, the salesperson answered, “These bags are only discounted when a color or style has been discontinued.”  I thought to myself, “Well, at least they’re consistent.”  But then the woman said something I hadn’t heard before.

She said, “You’re right.  This luggage is not cheap.  Four hundred dollars is quite an investment in a garment bag.  Did you know, however, that this will be the last garment bag that you may ever have to purchase?”  My quizzical expression prompted her to continue, “Tumi guarantees its bags for life.  It’s made out of ballistic nylon and can withstand the wear associated with frequent travel.  If you do experience a tear, a lost wheel, anything at all, Tumi will repair or replace the bag at no cost to you—for life.  Also, Tumi installs a special metal plate in each of its bags containing a bar code that customers register at the Tumi website after purchasing the bag.  That way, if your bag is ever mishandled, there will be a way to reunite you with your bag even if your luggage tag comes off during handling.”

Needless to say, I bought the garment bag.  It was ironic to me that I was leaving the second luggage store with the identical bag I hadn’t even considered purchasing for $400 fifteen minutes earlier at the first luggage store.  And all because the salesperson took the time to share her unique knowledge and convince me that, as a frequent traveler, I really could not afford not to buy this bag!

While customers appreciate nice employees, they value knowledgeable employees.  And the more unique knowledge employees possess, the more value they bring to the customer experience.

Sharing unique knowledge that goes beyond the common, mundane, and expected information (i.e., job knowledge) is an effective way to express one’s uniqueness while making it memorable for customers.

Unique knowledge is not the same as job knowledge. Job knowledge is necessary for an employee to be proficient in his or her job role. It is expected by the customer and, generally speaking, is transactional—not memorable. Unique knowledge, when provided by the employee, is unexpected, refreshing, valued, and memorable!

To illustrate, allow me to share a true story: One evening a former colleague and I were discussing customer service and he asked me, “Steve, what are some of the names of the meeting rooms at the hotel where you work?” I responded, “Odets, Wilder, Cantor, Jolson…” He interrupted, “If I were a customer and asked you why the meeting room was named Odets, what would you say?” I thought about it a moment and realized that I didn’t know the significance of the name Odets. I admitted this saying, “You know, I just got so used to the name representing a meeting room that I didn’t really give it much thought.”

My colleague made the point that it’s our responsibility to know the significance of proper names and to learn the histories and stories that reflect the cultures, neighborhoods, and buildings in which we work. This unique knowledge has character, is memorable, and—from the customer’s perspective—may be the difference between an ordinary transaction and a unique experience.

I took his advice to heart and later learned that the Odets meeting room was named after the playwright Clifford Odets who wrote the plays Waiting for Lefty and Awake and Sing. Several of the hotel’s meeting rooms were named after other well-known playwrights. Having this unique knowledge to share with customers enabled me to provide a richer, more interesting experience for them and certainly beat the alternative response: “I don’t know.”

How about you? What unique knowledge do you possess that is relevant to your workplace and will leave a lasting impression on your customers?