Earlier today, I stopped by one of those cookie specialty stores to pick up an order of one dozen cookies that had been decorated as pineapples. (In case you’re wondering, the pineapple serves as a symbol of hospitality and warm welcome.)
As I’m preparing to pay, the clerk said, “So that’s twelve cookies at $6.85 each… $82.20. Then two boxes at $3.50 each… $7.00. And…”
I interrupted, saying, “Pardon me. Did you say I have to pay $3.50 for each of the boxes?” She confirmed the charge saying, “If you want a regular box, there’s no charge. But we charge extra for this box because it is only supposed to be used for our gourmet cookies.”
I asked her, “How much do you sell the gourmet cookies for?”
She said, “Eleven dollars per dozen.”
Now, I’m standing there trying to reconcile the absurdity of what I had just heard and asked, “So if I were to buy a dozen gourmet cookies for $11, then you’d give me the box?”
She said, “No. That box is only used for two dozen gourmet cookies.”
“Okay.” I said, “If I were to buy two dozen gourmet cookies at a cost of $22, would you give me the box?”
She said, “We sell two dozen gourmet cookies for $22. If you want them in the box, the cost is $33.”
She said all of this with a straight face.
I collected my thoughts and asked her one final question of understanding which I prefaced with: “Okay, just so that I have this correct, I could buy two dozen gourmet cookies in a bag for $22 and also buy the box for $3.50 totaling $25.50. Or, I could buy two dozen gourmet cookies in the box for $33 and pay $7.50 more. Is that right?”
While she acknowledged that my math was correct, she would not acknowledge the lunacy of their pricing model. Instead, she justified it saying, “It’s corporate pricing. We don’t have anything to do with it.”
In the end, I left having paid $88.86—which included the price of one dozen decorated cookies plus tax. She grudgingly parted with two gourmet cookie boxes with lids.
I’m certain she’s told anyone who was willing to listen about this cheapo customer who came by the store to pick up his order and balked at paying a measly $3.50 for a gourmet cookie box.
She may have even suggested that, since this customer doesn’t even work in the cookie business, what right does he have to challenge their pricing policies? Silly customers. When will they learn their place?
Well, I’ve learned my place. The next time I’m looking to spend $88.86 on a dozen decorated cookies, my place will be their competitor: Cookies in Bloom on University Blvd. here in Denver.
I’ve already called and confirmed they don’t charge extra for boxes.
