A few years ago, I was seated in the boarding area at Dulles International Airport awaiting my fate as a standby passenger on the last nonstop flight to Denver. About ten minutes after the last passenger boarded, my name was called and I was given a seat assignment and permitted to board the plane.

As I was the last passenger to board, all eyes were on me as I struggled to find space for my garment bag in the overhead bin. Just then, one of the flight attendants called down the aisle, “Ladies and gentlemen, we can only depart when this man is seated.”

She wasn’t very nice.

She seemed to find pleasure in using a perverse form of peer pressure to motivate me to quickly stow my bag and be seated. As I had yet to make any friends on the flight—and weary airline passengers can be quite unsympathetic—I settled into a most uncomfortable center seat for the ride home.

I understand the airline’s policy requiring all passengers to be seated with bags stowed and seatbelts fastened prior to departure but couldn’t this flight attendant have found a way to convey this message without admonishing me publicly? Couldn’t she be nice?

Too often, employee requests sound more like reprimands or, worse, threats. By simply adding a bit of empathy, humor, or tact, the same message could be presented in a way that achieves similar results without offending customers in the process.

Be nice.

It’s easy to do and you and your customers will have a lot more fun in the process. Just last Wednesday, on United Airlines flight 405 from La Guardia to Denver, a male flight attendant in an effort to expedite boarding, made the following announcement over the airplane’s intercom:

“We cannot close the aircraft door until all bags are securely stowed and all passengers are seated with seatbelts fastened. At this moment we are perilously close to closing the door late and relinquishing our place in line for takeoff. If that happens, we may remain on the (echoed for effect) tarmac, tarmac, tarmac for (echoed for effect) hours, hours, hours…”

A message that could have sounded like a reprimand, been met with resistance, and created tension among passengers (especially those stowing bags who had yet to be seated), instead was presented with humor, met with laughter, and broke the ice with passengers.

When I met the flight attendant later during the beverage service, guess what? He was nice. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

It’s a shame when service-based organizations use safety, liability, and policy as justification for delivering average customer service.

• “Your safety is our highest priority” is the mantra of most airlines.

On the surface, it appears noble. The airlines have done a masterful job of limiting customer service in the name of safety (e.g., “The flight attendants are primarily here for your safety” now prefaces the “If there’s anything we can do to make your flight more enjoyable…” announcement).

I expect the next update they make to the message will be: “The flight attendants are solely here for your safety. If there’s anything you need to make your flight more enjoyable, make a note of it and be sure to bring it with you next time. Enjoy your flight.”

• And many businesses disappoint “due to liability.”

In healthcare, for instance, many physicians are reluctant to utter either the “I’m sorry” of sympathy or of responsibility for fear their words will be used against them by a plaintiff’s lawyer. So caring and empathy take a backseat to liability. Get well soon.

And hotels frequently decline to jump-start guests’ car batteries “due to liability.” I understand the need for safety and liability considerations. I also know that if a guest at my home (or, in some cases, a total stranger) requested a jump-start, I wouldn’t say, “I wish I could but, due to liability, I can’t help you. Have a nice day.”

I disagree that this justification would resonate with anyone in need of a jump-start—especially a hotel guest who has a flight to catch.

• And customer satisfaction is often compromised with the words: “It’s our policy.”

Whether you’re talking about retail (e.g., return policy restrictions), restaurants (e.g., policies that restrict split orders, substitutions, separate checks, etc.), or another business, most use policies as standardized mechanisms to guide employees’ decisions and behavior and to shape customers’ expectations.

Most policies are well-intended, carefully written protocol that are uniformly applied by employees and universally resented by customers. Here is a real-life example demonstrating how one hotel’s policy prevented a guest from listening to music or television programming during his workout in the hotel’s fitness center. Enjoy your stay.

Certainly there are valid reasons for instituting safety, liability, and policy considerations within a business. My point is not to do away with them.

I appreciate that hotel doormen do not permit unattended, parked vehicles in the driveway. I realize they’re not trying to be difficult. They are honoring a law that ensures access to the hotel by emergency vehicles—a valid safety measure.

Likewise, I applaud establishments that recognize when a guest is inebriated and refuse to serve him another bourbon and water. Not only is it a liability issue, it’s the right thing to do for everyone involved.

And there are many policies that are constructive and serve the best interests of the customer as well as the business. For example, if my checkbook goes missing, I have a new appreciation for check cashing policies requiring photo identification.

The issue is not the existence of safety, liability, and policy considerations. It’s the reliance on these considerations when employees’ common sense and good judgment would suggest otherwise.

When airline passengers are denied attentive in-flight service, when restaurant patrons are unable to have their preferences fulfilled, and when hotel guests paying $200 per night cannot be entrusted with a $4.74 set of headphones, it’s evident that these businesses value protocol more than their employees’ good judgment or, remarkably, their customers’ satisfaction.

For many years, Nordstrom, the retailer known for exceptional customer service, offered its newly-hired employees a famously uncomplicated handbook to assist in guiding their decisions at work.

It contained a single rule:

1.) Use your good judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules.

By encouraging its employees to use their good judgment to serve customers as opposed to volumes of safety, liability, and policy considerations, at Nordstrom you are far more likely to hear things like “Yes”, “I’m happy to” and “Let me see what I can do” as opposed to “No”, “We can’t” and “It’s our policy.”

The same is true for companies like The Ritz-Carlton Hotels & Resorts, Lexus, Zappos, Rackspace Hosting, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, USAA Insurance, L.L.Bean, and others renowned for their product and service quality.

The best organizations understand the difference between placing trust in a manual or in people. The best people choose to work for organizations that place trust in them. And most customers, when given a choice, will choose to do business with the best people.

Time and again research confirms that customer encounters in which a problem is resolved quickly and efficiently receive higher satisfaction scores than situations in which there was no problem reported.

Obviously, each customer is different with respect to his temperament and tolerance for mistakes. But dropping the ball here or there can turn out to be a good thing if the problem is properly resolved.

Using a hotel example, imagine you’ve just been asked to answer a satisfaction survey about a recent hotel experience. As you reflect on how satisfied you were with different elements of your stay, you consider all the touch points in which you experienced the facility and interacted with the hotel staff:

• The friendliness of the hotel employees
• The timeliness of check-in
• The ambiance of the hotel (interior design and décor)
• The amenities offered in the guest room
• The value for price paid

According to analysis by J.D. Power and Associates, hotel guests who experienced one or more problems during their stay rate their overall experience lower than those that did not report having any problems (74.9 vs. 61.2 percent). This may seem obvious. Poor television reception, a noisy A/C unit, or a missed wakeup call are certain to have a negative impact on how you feel about your stay when you respond to the survey.

But not everyone who has a problem is destined to give a low rating. The determining factor is not whether you had the problem, but how the hotel’s staff made you feel about how the problem was addressed and resolved.

For example, if the hotel scores a “perfect 10” for problem resolution, overall satisfaction for the entire stay is higher than for guests who never experienced a problem to begin with. Do a poor job fixing the problem, however, and overall satisfaction drops below 60 percent!

So, while it pays to resolve guest complaints quickly and efficiently, according to research only 15 percent of guests felt that their hotel’s staff had resolved the problem perfectly, compared to nearly half who expressed outright displeasure at the staff’s problem resolution skills.

How well-prepared are your employees to effectively address and resolve the inevitable problems that your customers will encounter?

Last night, my family and I visited one of those ice cream parlors that use a heated stone to meld together savory concoctions of an array of sweets and premium ice cream. Because each order is usually custom-made, it takes a bit longer to fulfill orders here than in typical ice cream shops where you order a flavor, a size, and you’re done.

When my family of six entered the store there was only one customer ahead of us. So far, so good. As my kids were deciding on the combination of treats they were planning to add to their ice cream, I noticed another three groups of customers come in behind us. I thought to myself, “Good timing.”

About this time, I realized that the young man working behind the counter was alone. There was no one in back to support the half-dozen or so customers who had lined up behind us. Others noticed too. I was reading the body language of customers who were rolling their eyes, sighing, looking at their watches, and craning their necks over the counter to see if another employee was hiding out in the back room. After several minutes with no forward progress, not surprisingly, the couple at the end of the line walked out.

You might be thinking that this is going to be a blog post about the importance of proper staffing and you’d be half-right. Staffing levels are important. It doesn’t make sense to try and shave labor hours at the expense of customer satisfaction and sales. But staffing is only part of this dilemma. The other aspects are employee attitude and the processes that are in place to mitigate the negative effects of being “in the weeds.”

Our server, Amir, displayed a great attitude. He took a moment to make eye contact with other customers in the line, smiled, and nodded as if to say, “I recognize that you are awaiting service and look forward to serving you.” Instead of appearing rushed and anxious, he smiled comfortably, offered samples to our kids, and served us as if no line had formed. I appreciated that and told him so.

Now, here’s where the processes that lessen the negative effects of being “in the weeds” come in. Having ordered three specials (which included a free kid-sized ice cream bowl for each medium-sized bowl purchased at the regular price), Amir told me that he needed to process three separate transactions. I told him that I was paying with a credit card and it might speed things up to put them all on the same transaction.

He was stuck. Despite sound judgment (and better customer service), he deferred to policy saying, “I know it would be faster but it’s store policy to ring up specials separately.” He was using one of those tiny dial-up machines so the delay (and customer angst) was compounded. So, as customers continued to wait—rolling their eyes, and looking at their watches—he ran my credit card three separate times, and issued three separate charge slips for me to total and authorize three separate times.

It was another example to me of subordinating customer service to protocol and policy. And the customers waited…

So, what’s a service business to do? Last summer, I wrote an article that contains several customer-focused actions that employees can take to get through the inevitable periods of high customer volume that most successful service businesses frequently experience.

Check it out and make sure your staff is prepared to take care of customers during periods of high volume. Also, review any policies that are in place that may not make sense for the customer even if they help you with your internal functions.

After all, customers are the reason that your business has internal functions—not the other way around.