Earlier this year, after my lawn had been aerated and fertilized, I noticed yellow grass forming along the eastern perimeter of my front yard. My initial thought was that my lawn service had inadvertently over-sprayed grass killer while treating the rock landscaping that borders the lawn. So I called and asked if a rep could come out and take a look at it.

A couple days later, a tech stopped by to examine the grass and told me I had lawn mites. He suggested I rake the yellow areas to remove the dead layer of grass. As he prepared to leave, I asked, “Is there something you can do to eliminate the lawn mites?” He said that he would add it to my next service ticket but, in the meantime, I should reseed or re-sod the areas of my lawn that had been damaged.

Later, I went to the lawn service’s website and found an entire page devoted to the detection and treatment of lawn mites.

I contacted the same service tech, Mitch, who diagnosed the problem and asked him why (since his company dedicates an entire web page to the detection and treatment of lawn mites) this issue had not been addressed in the preventative maintenance last fall or earlier this spring? And why is it my responsibility (when his company had twice serviced my lawn in the previous 30 days) to identify the problem, schedule a tech inspection, and replace the affected areas of grass, when I had retained a lawn service to ensure the health of my lawn?

I told him, “I think our goals are the same: A green lawn. I’m writing checks and watering regularly but I expect you to manage the rest. Even if lawn mites were beyond the scope of our service agreement (they’re not), I would expect your counsel regarding treatment—even if additional charges apply—because we both want a green lawn, right? Does this sound reasonable to you?”

To his credit, Mitch did not become defensive. He agreed that my expectations were reasonable, accepted responsibility, and returned the following day to repair the damaged areas of my lawn.

When your customers have a problem, you have a problem. Rather than overlooking the issue or passing the buck to customers, accept personal responsibility and express genuine interest in resolving the problem quickly.

Doing so will leave a lasting positive impression that customers will recall (in the case of a lawn service) when rates increase, it’s time to renew their service agreements or a neighbor asks for a referral.

According to a study by J.D. Power and Associates, when a hotel guest’s problem is resolved perfectly, it results in overall satisfaction averaging 80.7, compared to only 74.9 if there was no problem to begin with.

And the more satisfied a hotel guest is, the more he’ll likely spend. The same study found that guests who rate their overall satisfaction as a perfect ten on a ten-point scale, on average, spend about 40 percent more on ancillary services—like hotel restaurants, gift shop, business center, and other offerings—than guests offering a rating of six or seven.

It may seem counter-intuitive for satisfaction to increase when a hotel guest experiences a problem but when you think about the different relationships in your life, it begins to make sense.

All of us have relationships with others ranging from superficial to deep. Superficial relationships are those where conversations revolve around “safe” topics such as the weather, pop culture or the big game. These relationships are rarely tested in any meaningful way. Instead, they are predictable. Loyalty and commitment do not come into play.

We also have relationships that are deeper and more substantial. These are relationships that have been tested—experiencing both highs and lows. We tend to feel more of a responsibility to these relationships. There is greater loyalty and commitment.

J.W. Marriott, Sr. had a favorite poem, Trees, which was inscribed on a piece of wood outside his office door:

The tree that never had to fight for sun and sky and air and light, but stood out in the open plain and always had its share of rain, never became a forest king but lived and died a scrubby thing…Good timber does not grow in ease: The stronger the wind, the tougher the trees.

This poem reinforces the connection between tension and growth. Although it’s human nature to label problems as bad and try to avoid them at all costs, it turns out that the conflict we often encounter as a result of problems experienced may actually reinforce relationships.

A solid relationship, like good timber, does not grow in ease. When customer relationships are tested by the inevitable setbacks that occur in a complex business with lots of moving parts, reframe these problems as opportunities to strengthen relationships.

And be encouraged by the poet’s conclusion: The stronger the wind, the tougher the trees.

Typically, when you think of airline connections, you think of events that occur between departure and arrival at your final destination.

But there’s another type of connection that’s equally important to the long-term success of an airline: personal connections.

I recently read a Wall Street Journal article about the customer service training being offered to 11,000 Delta Air Lines agents.

A few points in the article stood out:

1. Delta emphasizes being “present” when serving customers, suggesting that if agents don’t remember their last three customers, they’re just processing.

I loved this insight. In fact, employees who “just process” or simply go through the motions may be the single greatest barrier to companies achieving consistently high levels of customer satisfaction.

Every employee’s job is made up of both job functions (the duties associated with a job role) and job essence (his highest priority which, for most companies, is to create delighted customers). Issuing a boarding pass is a job function. Making a personal connection is job essence.

Many employees focus almost exclusively on job function. The result is accurate work that conforms to standards. In the process, however, customers often receive homogeneous, bland and uneventful service during the transaction and no personal connection is made.

2. After surveying customers, Delta discovered that one of their recurring frustrations was that “no one cared or apologized” when something went wrong.

Bravo to Delta for surveying its customers and learning how frustrating it is when employees don’t seem to care and refuse to apologize when something goes wrong. (Although this revelation is not surprising.)

Apathy or indifference conveyed by customer-contact employees is pervasive throughout the service industry—and airline agents are notoriously indifferent toward mishaps such as lost luggage, delays, and canceled flights.

By apologizing and expressing genuine interest when something goes wrong, employees can establish a personal connection, neutralize the customer’s frustration, and actually increase overall satisfaction and customer loyalty.

3. Later in the article, Delta reveals a peek behind the curtain at some of the lessons being taught to agents during the customer service training. For instance, “Never apologize for baggage fees when customers complain.”

I thought it was ironic that in the same article that Delta acknowledged customer frustration because “no one cared or apologized,” the airline would then advise its agents to “never apologize for baggage fees when customers complain.”

In fact, one of its customer service training role-play scenarios deals with customers who are angry when asked to pay baggage fees. If Delta knows this is a hot button with passengers, why escalate matters by instructing agents to refuse to apologize?

There’s no harm in apologizing to passengers by saying, “I’m sorry that you were surprised by the baggage fee.” From there, the agent can offer an explanation for the charge, such as: “To provide the best value, we offer an a la carte menu of services where customers pay only for what they use.”

It’s much easier to establish a personal connection with a disappointed passenger by apologizing and expressing genuine interest in working together to resolve her problem. It doesn’t mean the agent agrees with her position, for instance, on the merit of baggage fees. He is not admitting fault, making excuses, or assigning blame. He is simply empathizing.

The opportunity I see for Delta agents is to anticipate the problems that their customers will likely experience (lost luggage, delays, missed airline connections, baggage fees, etc.) and then rehearse problem resolution approaches that include the words “I’m sorry” and expressing genuine empathy.

In the airline industry, connections are important. And while properly boarding connecting flights is a vital job function, making personal connections is the essence of every agent’s job.

Have you ever noticed the tendency of frontline employees to become defensive—even surly—when you bring a problem or misunderstanding to their attention?

Unless your business has chronic, unresolved issues (in which case, you may want to update your résumé), problems and misunderstandings are exceptions. By definition, exceptions do not conform to the general rule. This makes them infrequent. That’s why they’re exceptions.

When exceptions occur in your place of business, how are they typically handled?

In many cases, exceptions such as misunderstandings or unmet expectations, when brought to the attention of frontline employees, create a palpable communication barrier that neutralizes employees’ smiles, eye contact, and enthusiasm to serve.

It’s as if a customer’s misunderstanding, when expressed, drives a wedge between him and the employee. Instead of seeing the situation as an opportunity to serve, many employees recoil and judge the customer as being difficult or misinformed.

Here are two examples from guests of a leading hotel chain that I came across while trolling TripAdvisor.com:

As a [member of your loyalty program], I was on the Concierge Level with access to the lounge. My stay was from Thursday to Tuesday … the Concierge Lounge was closed from Friday 12 noon to Sunday 5pm. On top of that, nowhere were the hours posted on when any sort of food/service was provided (hours on when the lounge was open is posted, but who really cares if you can go there, without food?). Hours were not mentioned upon check-in, when visiting the lounge, or in the room. Two times that I went, I had just missed the food service. On both occasions, the attendants never once said, “Oh, I’m sorry you just missed our food service. Is there anything I can get you? So you know, we provide food between xyz hours).” Yes, I could have asked, but it made me feel a little cheap, to have to ask about the free food.

This feedback is priceless—especially the final comment about the guest being made to feel a little cheap. I can think of many different feelings hotels would like to inspire in their guests but “cheap” isn’t one of them.

Here’s the lesson I receive from this feedback: When a hotel’s Concierge Level guest misses the food service in the Concierge Lounge, it’s an exception. And exceptions provide opportunities for exceptional customer service.

Too often, employees view customers who “screw up” and misinterpret published hours of operation, pricing, directions, etc. as being difficult (i.e., “If only they’d read!”) when these customers should be treated exceptionally well. After all, due to a misunderstanding, their expectations have not been met.

In the case of the Concierge Level guest, why not make him aware of the Concierge Lounge’s hours of operation for the future (preferably by offering him a pre-printed card so he doesn’t have to try and remember them) and then provide a certificate for a complimentary breakfast in the restaurant?

And if he responds that he’d planned to take a plate back to his room to eat while working, then invite him to order room service and take care of the charge to make up for the misunderstanding. After all, when you consider the future spending of a delighted member of your loyalty program, all of a sudden $15-$30 seems quite negligible.

Now, some will say, “But what about the precedent you’re setting?” This concern, usually expressed by people who’d prefer to point to a sign or policy rather than go out of their way, never materializes. After all, it’s an exception.

Here’s another comment from a hotel guest that illustrates the same point:

We were very disappointed in the surliness of the [restaurant] managers both mornings… When checking in to our “breakfast included” room, we were told that breakfast was from 7 to noon. Oops – those hours were only for the [Thanksgiving Day] holiday, and Friday was ‘normal business hours’, which we discovered when we arrived at 10am on Friday for our breakfast. The male manager did not greet us with hello, but with a snapped “we’re closed for lunch”, but then allowed us to grab some food as they were still cleaning up the buffet. He directed us to “sit right here”, set some water without ice on the table, and we were scurried through the buffet under the watchful eye of a non-friendly female manager. No one offered coffee, juice, etc – yes, it was a tad late but we weren’t really causing them any trouble.

Once again, here’s a situation where guests are punished due to a misunderstanding. Instead of viewing this as an opportunity to make a positive lasting impression on their guests, the managers involved forgot their manners and treated them poorly.

In both cases, hotel guests experienced problems due to misunderstandings. Hotels, like most companies, have lots of moving parts and misunderstandings and unmet expectations are inevitable. And unless these problems are systemic, they’re exceptions and should be embraced as opportunities to pleasantly surprise guests.

According to a study by J.D. Power and Associates, when a hotel guest’s problem is resolved perfectly, it results in overall satisfaction averaging 80.7, compared to only 74.9 if there was no problem to begin with.

And the more satisfied a hotel guest is, the more he’ll likely spend. The same study found that guests who rate their overall satisfaction as a ten on a ten-point scale, on average, spend about 40 percent more on ancillary services (e.g., hotel restaurants, gift shop, business center, etc.) than guests offering a rating of six or seven.

So guests who experience a problem and have it resolved perfectly may be more satisfied than guests who do not experience a problem. And guests who are more satisfied tend to spend more money.

When frontline employees make this connection, guests who show up late for breakfast or question a room charge, will not be labeled as “difficult” and treated as such. Instead, these guests—these exceptions—will genuinely be seen as providing opportunities for exceptional customer service.

Studies by J.D. Power and Associates and others suggest that customer loyalty may increase when problems experienced by customers are resolved to their satisfaction (or, better yet, their delight). Even so, problems often go unresolved or ignored by employees who are in a position to make things right and win over customers in the process.

Earlier this week in New York City, I had experiences that illustrate both extremes:

The first involved a cab ride in midtown Manhattan Tuesday morning. When I entered the taxicab at the intersection of 57th St. and Park Avenue, I said to the driver, “I’m headed down to Twenty-eighth and Park.”

He nodded and instantly we were heading south on Park Avenue towards 28th St. Initially, the driver made no impression whatsoever and I became lost in the sights and sounds of the city outside my taxicab.

It took a moment for me to realize that he had pulled over at 48th St. and totaled the fare at $4.70. Noticing this, I leaned forward and repeated, “Twenty-eighth Street, not Forty-eighth Street.”

The driver, accepting responsibility for the misunderstanding, smiled and said, “Ah—Twenty-eighth Street. I am so sorry.”

As we continued south on Park Avenue, I noticed that the fare reading on the meter remained unchanged. Sure enough, as he pulled to the curb at 28th St., the total fare had not changed from $4.70. He had accepted responsibility for the misunderstanding and absorbed the final twenty blocks worth of fare.

As a result, I paid ten dollars for the ride and thanked him for his understanding.

Contrast this with an experience I had later that day at a midtown diner:

My server, Mackenzie, was a delight. She was effervescent, interested, and engaged. She made eye-contact, smiled, and added enthusiasm to her voice. She was exceptional.

After I had ordered a cheeseburger, a Coke, and a side of onion rings for lunch, Mackenzie said, “What would you like on your cheeseburger?”

I said, “Just lettuce. Hold the pickles and onions.” Then I added, “I know it’s weird. I’m ordering a side of onion rings but having you hold the onions on my cheeseburger. I just like them fried.”

She smiled and said, “Oh, I know just what you’re talking about. I’m the same way!”

We had made a personal connection. The ice was broken. I was no longer just another restaurant cover. And she was no longer just another server. She delivered my Coke to the table, smiled wide, and was off to the kitchen to submit my lunch order.

Ten minutes later, the diner’s manager arrived at my table with my cheeseburger and a basket of tater tots. At the same time, Mackenzie arrived tableside to verify that I was all set.

As the manager placed the tater tots on the table I said, “Oh wait—I didn’t order tater tots. I ordered onion rings.”

Mackenzie looked at her manager, then at me (this time, not smiling) and said, “You ordered tater tots.”

At first I thought she was joking—especially given the conversation we’d had about onions. When it was clear that she wasn’t kidding, I said, “Don’t you remember our conversation? (silence) I had you hold the onions on my cheeseburger but ordered a side of onion rings?”

Stone faced, and without responding, she followed her manager back to the kitchen. When she returned to the restaurant floor, she avoided my table. A few minutes later, the manager placed a basket of onion rings on my table and left without saying a word.

Now, I’m not sure what the dynamics were. Maybe Mackenzie’s manager is particularly intolerant of mistakes? Maybe there was some other reason that caused her to claim ignorance in order to save face? Either way, I felt uneasy about it. (Of the many feelings you’d like your customers to experience, uneasiness isn’t one of them.)

I ate my lunch (which was excellent), paid my bill, and left.

On a ten-point scale, I would rate my experience with the cab driver a ten and, if given the chance, would go out of my way to ride with him again. I would refer him to others and would even be willing to pay a small premium to ride with this particular driver—largely due to the trust and confidence I now have in him.

On the other hand, I would rate my experience at the diner a six and would not go out of my way to return to this diner or recommend it to others. My review has been tainted by the “tater tot incident” and, specifically, Mackenzie’s refusal to accept responsibility for her mistake.

Problems are inevitable. Whether or not employees choose to own them, however, is optional. Those employees who do are one step closer to resolving problems—and creating loyal customers!

Time and again research confirms that customer encounters in which a problem is resolved quickly and efficiently receive higher satisfaction scores than situations in which there was no problem reported.

Obviously, each customer is different with respect to his temperament and tolerance for mistakes. But dropping the ball here or there can turn out to be a good thing if the problem is properly resolved.

Using a hotel example, imagine you’ve just been asked to answer a satisfaction survey about a recent hotel experience. As you reflect on how satisfied you were with different elements of your stay, you consider all the touch points in which you experienced the facility and interacted with the hotel staff:

• The friendliness of the hotel employees
• The timeliness of check-in
• The ambiance of the hotel (interior design and décor)
• The amenities offered in the guest room
• The value for price paid

According to analysis by J.D. Power and Associates, hotel guests who experienced one or more problems during their stay rate their overall experience lower than those that did not report having any problems (74.9 vs. 61.2 percent). This may seem obvious. Poor television reception, a noisy A/C unit, or a missed wakeup call are certain to have a negative impact on how you feel about your stay when you respond to the survey.

But not everyone who has a problem is destined to give a low rating. The determining factor is not whether you had the problem, but how the hotel’s staff made you feel about how the problem was addressed and resolved.

For example, if the hotel scores a “perfect 10” for problem resolution, overall satisfaction for the entire stay is higher than for guests who never experienced a problem to begin with. Do a poor job fixing the problem, however, and overall satisfaction drops below 60 percent!

So, while it pays to resolve guest complaints quickly and efficiently, according to research only 15 percent of guests felt that their hotel’s staff had resolved the problem perfectly, compared to nearly half who expressed outright displeasure at the staff’s problem resolution skills.

How well-prepared are your employees to effectively address and resolve the inevitable problems that your customers will encounter?