A few years ago, I was seated in the boarding area at Dulles International Airport awaiting my fate as a standby passenger on the last nonstop flight to Denver. About ten minutes after the last passenger boarded, my name was called and I was given a seat assignment and permitted to board the plane.

As I was the last passenger to board, all eyes were on me as I struggled to find space for my garment bag in the overhead bin. Just then, one of the flight attendants called down the aisle, “Ladies and gentlemen, we can only depart when this man is seated.”

She wasn’t very nice.

She seemed to find pleasure in using a perverse form of peer pressure to motivate me to quickly stow my bag and be seated. As I had yet to make any friends on the flight—and weary airline passengers can be quite unsympathetic—I settled into a most uncomfortable center seat for the ride home.

I understand the airline’s policy requiring all passengers to be seated with bags stowed and seatbelts fastened prior to departure but couldn’t this flight attendant have found a way to convey this message without admonishing me publicly? Couldn’t she be nice?

Too often, employee requests sound more like reprimands or, worse, threats. By simply adding a bit of empathy, humor, or tact, the same message could be presented in a way that achieves similar results without offending customers in the process.

Be nice.

It’s easy to do and you and your customers will have a lot more fun in the process. Just last Wednesday, on United Airlines flight 405 from La Guardia to Denver, a male flight attendant in an effort to expedite boarding, made the following announcement over the airplane’s intercom:

“We cannot close the aircraft door until all bags are securely stowed and all passengers are seated with seatbelts fastened. At this moment we are perilously close to closing the door late and relinquishing our place in line for takeoff. If that happens, we may remain on the (echoed for effect) tarmac, tarmac, tarmac for (echoed for effect) hours, hours, hours…”

A message that could have sounded like a reprimand, been met with resistance, and created tension among passengers (especially those stowing bags who had yet to be seated), instead was presented with humor, met with laughter, and broke the ice with passengers.

When I met the flight attendant later during the beverage service, guess what? He was nice. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

It’s happened to most of us. Your appointment ran a bit longer than expected. You check your watch. You know it’s going to be close.

There is a sense of urgency as you plan your route to your car, weaving in and out of pedestrians on the sidewalk as you look ahead to the next crossing signal. It’s flashing. If you hustle, you just might make it…

A minute later, as you approach your parked car, you notice the piece of paper pressed beneath your windshield wiper and you think, “I’m too late…”

Out of breath from your gauntlet, you tug the notice out from beneath your wiper blade and prepare for the worst.

When this recently happened to my wife while on business in Cheyenne, Wyoming, she removed the notice and read the following:

Howdy Pardner!

WELCOME TO CHEYENNE

The Patrol Officer has noticed that you have violated one of our parking ordinances. This ordinance OVER STAYING THE ALLOTTED TIME is usually punishable by hanging, but seeing as how you are a visitor to Cheyenne we want to make your stay here as enjoyable as possible, so the offense will be overlooked this time. (Besides we couldn’t round up a posse in time for the hanging.)

If we can be of any assistance during your stay in Cheyenne, please call 637-6331. If you have any comments, please fill in the area below and mail by pony express or stop by the main ranch house at 2101 O’Neil Avenue and take a look around.

What a relief! How delightfully unexpected! This may be the first time that a patrol officer brought a smile to my wife’s face by leaving a notice on her windshield.

I recognize (as does the city of Cheyenne) that humor doesn’t offset the expense of running a city. But it does provide a laugh and makes a lasting positive impression on visitors to Cheyenne who will likely share this positive experience with others.

Whether you received a parking citation and fine or this “Howdy Pardner!” notice, you will likely remember the event either way—for evoking feelings of frustration, anger, and loss in the case of a ticket or delight, relief, and surprise in the case of this refreshing parody.

How do you want to be remembered by your customers?

What can you do in your place of business to transform something that may be creating predictably unpleasant memories into something that inspires smiles and lasting positive impressions?

Have you ever noticed the similarities between attracting a prospective customer and wooing a mate?

There are lots of similarities when you think about it. For example, before the relationship develops, there may be frequent but informal contact. In business, that may look like a weekly e-newsletter that over time (as trust is established) results in a client project. In a personal relationship, it may take the form of frequent encounters at the corner Starbucks.

As it blossoms, there is usually lots of attention and care given to the relationship. In business, this is evidenced by asking questions of understanding, attentive listening, clarifying expectations, and responding to needs. In a personal relationship, these behaviors also apply.

Another similarity is that after the honeymoon phase, personal attention and care tend to diminish. Clients tend to hear from you less often and may need to leave a second message before you respond. And your mate may long for the time when you looked dreamily across the table, a slight smile on your face, while hanging on her every word.

But today you have competing priorities and don’t feel that you can be as responsive as some customers and mates require. And for this reason, among others, not every story has a happy ending…

That said, there are actions you can take immediately whether serving a customer or someone with whom you have a bit more of a, shall we say, intimate relationship, that will keep their eyes from wandering to the “competition.”

Express genuine interest. With customers, this is accomplished by making eye contact, smiling, and adding enthusiasm to your voice. Also, asking questions about preferences and being responsive to needs signal genuine interest. Chances are, your significant other appreciates the same type of attention.

Offer sincere and specific compliments. Genuine compliments make everyone feel better about themselves. A compliment is verbal sunshine. Shine on.

Share unique knowledge. In a customer service setting, this means sharing knowledge that goes beyond job knowledge that is expected (e.g., hours of operation, return policy, etc.). Unique knowledge has character and substance. It is interesting, unique, and unexpected (e.g., the history of the location, privileged “insider” information, etc.). Similarly, personal relationships benefit by sharing insights and feelings that transcend the expected (e.g., “How was work?”) and demonstrate personal interest (e.g., “Tell me about your day.”).

Convey authentic enthusiasm. We all do this differently. Some are bubbly. Others are less animated but equally enthusiastic. It’s easy to detect whether at work or home. They move with purpose. The lights are on. They are engaged.

Use appropriate humor. The key word is appropriate. With customers you need to use discretion and keep it professional so as not to offend. In personal relationships, you have a bit more leeway. Either way, laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Provide pleasant surprises. Have you ever received an unexpected upgrade on a flight, at a hotel, or when renting a car? How did it make you feel? It’s a positive feeling that can be replicated again and again with something as simple as a card, a bottle of water, or a single rose…

Deliver service heroics. This sort of action is rarely required of us. It’s the exception, not the rule. But when the situation requires it and we go “above and beyond” in order to wow our customer (e.g., meet an overnight deadline) or impress that someone special (e.g., breakfast in bed), it makes a lasting positive impression that reaffirms her importance and reinforces the relationship.

My hope for everyone reading this post is that you would find some truth in it. Reflect on the quality of your own personal customer service to those people who matter the most to you at work and at home.

Are you developing relationships by demonstrating the types of behaviors outlined above or are you communicating indifference by merely going through the motions?

Be intentional about applying these behaviors and I assure you that your most important customers—both professionally and personally—will appreciate you for it and, most importantly, will only have eyes for you.