If you’d like to test this assertion, simply show up at your choice of retailer after it has closed for the day. Assuming you can make eye contact with an employee through the locked glass door, see if she is willing to do more than point at her watch and mouth the words, “We’re closed.”

Now, this is where corporate types jump in using words like: policy, procedure, overtime, security, protocol, etc. While all of their points are valid, it doesn’t mean they’re right.

To illustrate, imagine that you had planned a baby shower at your home from 1:00 to 3:00pm and that one of your guests was delayed for some reason and didn’t arrive until 3:15pm—after the event had officially ended and the other guests had left.

Would you refuse to open the front door and simply make eye contact with her through the glass side light panel, point to your watch, and mouth the words, “The party’s over”?

Of course not.

Then why is it acceptable to treat “guests” like that in a business setting?

If you’re going to cite the above list of policy, procedure, overtime, security, protocol, etc. as your justification for this behavior, at least stop referring to your customers as “guests.”

Instead, call them what they really are to your closing staff: a nuisance—an interruption; someone we accept money from during business hours but whom we’d prefer not to see after closing time until the next business day.

Just last week I was in Logan, UT. Being a coffee enthusiast and having read about the mountain grown, Triple Certified coffee at Caffe Ibis, I made it a point to stop by on the day of my arrival.

I showed up at 6:45pm and learned that the store closed at 6:30pm. I peered through the glass door and made eye contact with an employee who pointed to her watch and mouthed the words, “We’re closed.”

Before I returned to my car, however, an energetic employee named Natalie unlocked the front door and engaged me.

I mentioned that I was in town for one night from Denver and had hoped to try a cup of Caffe Ibis coffee that I had read so much about and pick up a pound of beans to take back home.

She said, “The machines are off and the register is closed but let me see what I can do.”

A few minutes later, she appeared with a steeping (literally) cup of coffee and a pound of Double French Roast Blend coffee beans.

I thanked her, paid her $15 in cash, and enjoyed a delicious cup of coffee back in my hotel room.

The following day, on my way out of town, I returned and spent another $28.05 on a latte, ground Espresso Roast Blend, and a Caffe Ibis t-shirt. That’s $43.05 in revenue from a guest that many employees would have labeled a nuisance—an interruption in their day.

And my purchasing hasn’t stopped. I’m back in Denver but enjoyed the coffee so much that I’m planning a repeat purchase of Double French Roast Blend coffee beans from their website. My potential future value to Caffe Ibis is significant.

If the first employee was my only impression of Caffe Ibis, I would have left empty-handed, kept my $15, and may or may not have returned the following day to spend another $28.05. And if I hadn’t experienced its coffee in Logan, I certainly wouldn’t be ordering it by the pound on-line.

This is key: Did the first employee do anything wrong? No. She was following policy. I get that. She was also behaving in a way that is usual, ordinary, and expected by most customers.

Natalie, on the other hand, treated me like her guest. She behaved in a way that was beyond what is usual, ordinary, and expected by most customers. She was refreshing and unique. As a result, she not only made a positive lasting impression, she made a sale!

More key points:

1.) Natalie recognized that, while her job function was to complete the closing checklist, the essence of her job—her highest priority—was to serve her guests.

2.) Her decision to open the locked door and engage me, unlike the completion of the closing checklist, was optional.

3.) And finally, her willingness to go the extra mile cost her employer nothing—it was free! In fact, it resulted in $43.05 in additional sales (and counting…).

Natalie created a promoter (that’s me).

Promoters are customers who not only buy your products/services, they wear your t-shirts, are less price sensitive, and recommend your business to others (as I’m doing now).

While the first employee’s service was ordinary, expected, and made me feel like an interruption in her day, Natalie’s was extraordinary, unexpected, and made me feel like a valued guest.

Care to comment? Be my guest.

There are lots of similarities when you think about it. For example, before the relationship develops, there may be frequent but informal contact. In business, that may look like a weekly e-newsletter that over time (as trust is established) results in a client project. In a personal relationship, it may take the form of frequent encounters at the corner Starbucks.

As it blossoms, there is usually lots of attention and care given to the relationship. In business, this is evidenced by asking questions of understanding, attentive listening, clarifying expectations, and responding to needs. In a personal relationship, these behaviors also apply.

Another similarity is that after the honeymoon phase, personal attention and care tend to diminish. Clients tend to hear from you less often and may need to leave a second message before you respond. And your mate may long for the time when you looked dreamily across the table, a slight smile on your face, while hanging on her every word.

But today you have competing priorities and don’t feel that you can be as responsive as some customers and mates require. And for this reason, among others, not every story has a happy ending…

That said, there are actions you can take immediately whether serving a customer or someone with whom you have a bit more of a, shall we say, intimate relationship, that will keep their eyes from wandering to the “competition.”

Express genuine interest. With customers, this is accomplished by making eye contact, smiling, and adding enthusiasm to your voice. Also, asking questions about preferences and being responsive to needs signal genuine interest. Chances are, your significant other appreciates the same type of attention.

Offer sincere and specific compliments. Genuine compliments make everyone feel better about themselves. A compliment is verbal sunshine. Shine on.

Share unique knowledge. In a customer service setting, this means sharing knowledge that goes beyond job knowledge that is expected (e.g., hours of operation, return policy, etc.). Unique knowledge has character and substance. It is interesting, unique, and unexpected (e.g., the history of the location, privileged “insider” information, etc.). Similarly, personal relationships benefit by sharing insights and feelings that transcend the expected (e.g., “How was work?”) and demonstrate personal interest (e.g., “Tell me about your day.”).

Convey authentic enthusiasm. We all do this differently. Some are bubbly. Others are less animated but equally enthusiastic. It’s easy to detect whether at work or home. They move with purpose. The lights are on. They are engaged.

Use appropriate humor. The key word is appropriate. With customers you need to use discretion and keep it professional so as not to offend. In personal relationships, you have a bit more leeway. Either way, laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Provide pleasant surprises. Have you ever receive an unexpected upgrade on a flight, at a hotel, or when renting a car? How did it make you feel? It’s a positive feeling that can be replicated again and again with something as simple as a card, a bottle of water, or a single rose…

Deliver service heroics. This sort of action is rarely required of us. It’s the exception, not the rule. But when the situation requires it and we go “above and beyond” in order to wow our customer (e.g., meet an overnight deadline) or impress that someone special (e.g., breakfast in bed), it makes a lasting positive impression that reaffirms her importance and reinforces the relationship.

My hope for everyone reading this post is that you would find some truth in it. Reflect on the quality of your own personal customer service to those people who matter the most to you at work and at home.

Are you developing relationships by demonstrating the types of behaviors outlined above or are you communicating indifference by merely going through the motions?

Be intentional about applying these behaviors and I assure you that your most important customers—both at work and at home—will appreciate you for it and, most importantly, will only have eyes for you.

After waiting in line for a few minutes, our family of six made its way to the front of the line. Looking at the “scrumdelicious” pictures on the menus suspended above the counter, my youngest children could hardly contain their excitement!

Their eyes, wide with wonder, darted from one delectable menu image to the next. They smiled and began to giggle as they realized it was now our turn to order and that, within minutes, they would have their frosty treats in hand…

Smiling in response to my children, I looked up to face the counter employee. In sharp contrast to my children’s faces, her facial expression was matter-of-fact—even serious.

Her greeting consisted of, “Do you know what you want?”

She then robotically gathered information, processed the order, issued a receipt, and completed the transaction.

After we placed our order, my son Cole (age 9) and I waited off to the side for our order while the rest of the family found a place for us to sit on the patio.

I asked Cole, “On a zero to ten scale with zero being rude and ten being very friendly, how would you rate the girl who took our order?”

He said, “Six.”

I asked him why he rated her a six and he said, “Because she didn’t smile.”

I then asked him, “Was there anything else?”

And he said, “Yes, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

What Cole couldn’t put his finger on (because he’s only in third grade) is the leading cause of customer dissatisfaction: indifference.

In one survey, 68 percent of customers said they quit doing business with a company because of perceived indifference towards them as customers.

And here’s what is really scary: Most customer service providers are blissfully unaware of their own indifference. From their perspectives, they are efficiently executing customer transactions.

They may not recognize that what customers tend to remember the most are not the routine steps that make up transactions—they remember the demeanors and unique personalities of the employees who served them.

Behaviors like eye contact, smiling, and adding enthusiasm to one’s voice do more to convey appreciation for customers than any other aspect of a customer transaction.

These are the “little things” that make a lasting impression—and a real difference in customer satisfaction.

We were traveling from Denver to Phoenix for some fun in the sun when Southwest Airlines lived up to their reputation for spontaneous entertainment and pleasing service. (I love the line, “If you are not pleased with our service, we have six emergency exit rows throughout the plane. Please locate the one nearest to you!”)

Approximately halfway through the flight, Nancy, the flight attendant, came on the intercom and announced, “We have a very special guest today. Spencer is five years old today. Spencer could you please join us at the front of the cabin?”

As Spencer made his way to the front, a bashful little girl who appeared to be eight years old or so emerged from behind Nancy toting a flute.

Nancy explained, “Spencer’s sister, Elisa, would like to play ‘Happy Birthday’ for her brother on the flute.”

Elisa sporadically blew her best ‘Happy Birthday’ song and the cabin clapped. Then the whole cabin, led by Nancy, sang the birthday song to Spencer—again to his delight.

Next, without any fanfare, Nancy placed a crown on Spencer’s head. The crown was made of clear Scotch tape, Southwest Airlines peanut packets, and red plastic olive skewers.

As King Spencer pranced down the aisle proudly, I noticed the crown—an unnecessary, spontaneous, free, yet brilliant example of customer enthusiasm that cannot be mandated but cannot be overvalued.

No doubt, Spencer ate his crown before his parents retrieved their bags but he won’t soon forget that flight. Neither will I.

I bolded Evan’s observation above because it illustrates the theme of the previous post, That little extra…

It’s true. When you break it down to its fundamental components, exceptional customer service really is optional and free! (Or, at least no more than the cost of some peanuts, olive skewers, and Scotch tape.)

If employees choose to perform like Nancy, the flight attendant, (and it’s supported by the corporate culture), their company may also be crowned the industry’s best customer service provider—just like Southwest Airlines.

His face lit up every time he was acknowledged at the end of his song. And then, as if it was the very first time, he launched into another rendition of the ABC Song. And what did we, his audience, do throughout each new performance? We smiled, nodded, encouraged, and clapped as though it were the very first time we had heard Carter sing the song.

It reminded me of when customers ask us questions we’ve heard a hundred (or thousand) times before. Common questions such as, “Where are you located?” or “How does your rewards program work?” or “What beers do you have on tap?”

The tendency is to begin answering the question even before the customer has completed his sentence. Sometimes the response is rushed in order to move onto other, more important, questions or priorities or is delivered in a way that is robotic. Efficient, yes, but ineffective.

Customers deserve to be acknowledged in unique ways. It may be the fortieth time you’ve heard the question today but it’s likely the first time this customer has asked it. Respond to their questions in ways that communicate a sincere desire to serve.

And here’s another benefit to tuning into customer questions—even the common ones: a chance to sell!

Take the three common questions above for example. Each question provides an opportunity to make a sale. When a customer calls and asks where you’re located, you have a chance to make a friendly first impression over the phone and to facilitate the customer’s drive to your location by providing clear directions with easy-to-spot landmarks.

Seriously, think of all the times that you’ve contacted a business for directions and because of the robotic, apathetic, or indifferent response, you made a decision to go elsewhere. It happens—a lot.

When a customer asks how a rewards program works, that’s your opportunity to shine, learn more about the customer’s use of your products and services, and enroll her in the program. She benefits from the program’s perks and your company benefits from her continued loyalty and future spending.

The alternative is to default to a script that you’ve spewed countless times in the past as you hand the program brochure to the customer before moving on to other priorities. The recipients of these rote pitches generally toss the program materials as soon as they round the next corner.

And the final example above, “What beers do you have on tap?” provides a great opportunity for engaged servers to sell high-margin draft beer or to upsell customers to a larger size—and a higher profit margin.

How many times have you heard a server respond in one breath, “BudBudLightCoorsCoorsLightAnchorSteamAmstelLightSamAdams andBass” or, worse, point you to the back of the menu? I recall times when servers were visibly irritated by the question. Their body language said, “Ugh…not again.”

Years ago I read the book, Hey, I’m the Customer: Front Line Tips for Providing Superior Customer Service by Ron Willingham. One of the quotes from that book that stood out to me was to “tune the world out and the customer in.” Whether “the world” refers to being preoccupied, distractions, or even the monotony of answering the same question again and again, you owe it to your customers to tune them in.

Think back to the beginning of this post. Imagine if, instead of acknowledging my two-year-old son with applause, I had said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah…ABCs. Look Carter, you’re my fourth kid. Do you know how many times I’ve heard the ABC Song? Here, eat your ice cream.” Efficient, yes, but ineffective.

So the next time you receive “that question” (you know the one), refuse to go on autopilot. Instead, pause, make eye contact, smile, and then, with a bit of enthusiasm in your voice, respond as though it’s the very first time you’ve heard the question. Look for opportunities—even in seemingly predictable questions—to learn more about your customers, to add value, and to increase sales.

The first word is indifference. What words immediately come to mind?

The second word is enthusiasm. What words immediately come to mind?

When I perform this activity at my seminars, participants’ associations with “indifference” are words like: apathy, don’t care, unimportant, don’t matter, etc. and their associations with “enthusiasm” are words like: lively, energetic, smile, radiant, etc.

Consider this statistic: 68 percent of customers quit doing business with a company because of perceived indifference towards them as customers.

In other words, lots of customers feel as though employees are apathetic and don’t care, and that, as customers, they are unimportant and don’t matter to the company.

What could be leading customers to feel this way? Everyone’s experience is unique but definitely interpersonal communication effects this perception. When employees don’t smile, make eye contact, or add a bit of enthusiasm to their voices, customers notice.

But here’s the good news: When employees do smile, make eye contact, and add a bit of enthusiasm to their voices, customers recognize that too. And because it’s a change from the indifferent service that most customers have come to expect, it stands out as refreshing, unique, and memorable.

Recently, I was reading the book Love Your Patients by Scott Louis Diering, M.D. and came across the following passage:

“Everyone is important. Every person you meet is very, very important. Every patient’s problem, every concern, every appointment, every minute is very, very important. Everything is important to someone. All we need do is recognize that importance. Enthusiasm is the easiest way for our patients to know that they are important.

When we act with enthusiasm, our patients will know that we truly take them seriously. We must ‘get into it.’ Many of the techniques and suggestions (referenced above) show our enthusiasm: We nod our head, make eye contact, and listen intently. We do these things to show our patients that they are our biggest concern.

It does not matter how many other more urgent problems we have to deal with. It does not matter that our last patient and our next patient are dying. What matters is, while we are with this patient, we are not distracted, bored, uninterested or unconcerned…

The best ways to show our enthusiasm are to thank our patients, to ask some non-healthcare questions about them, and to let them know that we are glad to see them…

Someone may criticize this view. They may say small talk distracts us from real patient care. They are wrong. Our business is people. The more we know about our patients, the better we can serve them.”

Many job roles, regardless of industry, become process-focused and routine over time. Service providers systematically go about their tasks and may unwittingly convey indifference towards the customers they serve.

Always look for opportunities to convey authentic enthusiasm: smile, make eye contact, add enthusiasm to your voice, ask engaging, non-routine questions and let your customers know that you’re genuinely happy to serve them.

In doing so, you will be expressing your uniqueness by adding personality to an otherwise routine and indifferent transaction. Best of all, you will be seen by customers as memorable—which certainly beats the alternative.

Earlier today I brought three of my children, ages 3, 5, and 7, to the dentist.  We’ve been going to the same pediatric dentistry office since our oldest child turned 3 and was scheduled for his first “Happy Appointment!”  (That’s the nickname the dental hygienists give to a toddler’s first experience at their office.)

From the moment the kids arrived, they were entertained by an oversized aquarium stocked with the cast from Finding Nemo.  A raised platform surrounds the base of the aquarium in order for the really little kids to enjoy the same perspective as the bigger kids.  As their appointments came up, each child was greeted in the reception area and escorted back to the roomy, well-lit patient examination area complete with electric chairs that go up and down, loads of stickers, pencils, and those plastic rings that kids can’t get enough of…

Today, all three kids had their teeth cleaned.  During the cleanings, I heard the hygienists refer to each of their instruments by descriptive, kid-friendly names.  For example, the bright overhead light was “Mr. Sunshine.”  The suction straw was “Mr. Thirsty” and the high-pressure water jet was “Mr. Windy.”

Afterwards, all the little patients got to select their prizes and choose from a wide selection of themed toothbrushes, toothpaste, and floss ranging from dinosaurs and action figures for the boys to ponies and princesses for the girls.

During the appointment, I had a chance to ask one of the dentists how the current economy was impacting his practice.  He said, “You know Steve, I’m really concerned.  Only about half our patients are completely covered by dental insurance.  The other half either don’t have insurance or the insurance they do have covers 50% or less of the cost of the visit.  If the procedure is going to require much out-of-pocket expense, it’s easy for people to rationalize delaying a previously scheduled appointment by six to twelve months.”

I then asked another question that I felt I already knew the answer to: “So, you’re probably already seeing this sentiment reflected in your own business, right?”  To my surprise, he said, “Well, actually no.  But we’re sure worried about it.”

In reflecting on that conversation, I realize why I shouldn’t be surprised that his practice is still prospering in spite of the economy.  Did I mention how memorable the visits were for the kids?  Everything from the fish to the floss is geared toward making positive memories for the kids.

These memories not only fuel a desire to brush well and return to the dentist regularly.  As it turns out, they also insulate the practice from the negative effects of a sluggish economy we’ll call “Mr. Grumpy Pants.”

Do you agree with it?

For some jobs, this makes perfect sense. Think: ski instructor, professional golfer, food critic…you get the idea. But what about other jobs?

What if, say, you worked as a bank teller and were on your feet all day processing financial transactions? Or what if you were a server at a restaurant dealing with the dynamics of a busy kitchen and demanding customers? What if your job was to make sure that, among other things, there were no shopping carts scattered about the parking lot?

Is it realistic for these jobs to be viewed in the same way?