According to a study by J.D. Power and Associates, when a hotel guest’s problem is resolved perfectly, it results in overall satisfaction averaging 80.7, compared to only 74.9 if there was no problem to begin with.

And the more satisfied a hotel guest is, the more he’ll likely spend. The same study found that guests who rate their overall satisfaction as a perfect ten on a ten-point scale, on average, spend about 40 percent more on ancillary services—like hotel restaurants, gift shop, business center, and other offerings—than guests offering a rating of six or seven.

It may seem counter-intuitive for satisfaction to increase when a hotel guest experiences a problem but when you think about the different relationships in your life, it begins to make sense.

All of us have relationships with others ranging from superficial to deep. Superficial relationships are those where conversations revolve around “safe” topics such as the weather, pop culture or the big game. These relationships are rarely tested in any meaningful way. Instead, they are predictable. Loyalty and commitment do not come into play.

We also have relationships that are deeper and more substantial. These are relationships that have been tested—experiencing both highs and lows. We tend to feel more of a responsibility to these relationships. There is greater loyalty and commitment.

J.W. Marriott, Sr. had a favorite poem, Trees, which was inscribed on a piece of wood outside his office door:

The tree that never had to fight for sun and sky and air and light, but stood out in the open plain and always had its share of rain, never became a forest king but lived and died a scrubby thing…Good timber does not grow in ease: The stronger the wind, the tougher the trees.

This poem reinforces the connection between tension and growth. Although it’s human nature to label problems as bad and try to avoid them at all costs, it turns out that the conflict we often encounter as a result of problems experienced may actually reinforce relationships.

A solid relationship, like good timber, does not grow in ease. When customer relationships are tested by the inevitable setbacks that occur in a complex business with lots of moving parts, reframe these problems as opportunities to strengthen relationships.

And be encouraged by the poet’s conclusion: The stronger the wind, the tougher the trees.

I recently came across a list of attributes possessed by volunteers—whether candy stripers at a local hospital, political activists along the campaign trail or parents donating their time at their children’s elementary school.

The list included:

• Passion: Authentic energy and enthusiasm in support of a cause
• Commitment: The act of pledging or engaging oneself to a cause
• Positive attitude: Optimism in the pursuit of desirable outcomes, regardless of circumstances

It occurred to me that the qualities attributed to an effective volunteer also describe a successful frontline employee in the service industry.

Customer service transactions benefit from employees who have a genuine passion to serve others, commit to placing the needs of customers ahead of their own, and display a positive attitude—even when facing long lines or demanding customers.

The fact that the qualities of volunteers and frontline service providers are similar is not surprising since one of the truths of exceptional customer service is that it is always voluntary. Employees choose to smile, make eye contact, add energy to their voice, anticipate needs, pay attention to detail, display a sense of urgency, follow-up or any number of other behaviors that convey exceptional customer service.

And because exceptional customer service is voluntary, you and I (as customers) seldom receive it. Employees may be required to answer phones, secure valid methods of payment or perform numerous other job functions but they cannot be ordered to display passion, commitment or a positive attitude—these are personal choices.

Oftentimes service industry employers post “Help Wanted” signs to attract job applicants. Perhaps they should post “Volunteers Needed” signs instead?

What do you think?

Have you ever heard a co-worker say, “I’m only one person, it won’t make much difference if I don’t do this quite right”?

Most times they don’t actually come out and say it but you can detect it in their body language and demeanor.

How can you influence these employees to accept responsibility for their performance in ways that support the collective efforts of the entire team?

One way is through carrots and sticks (rewards and consequences) but these have been proven to be ineffective long-term strategies. Sustained behavior change results from a personal commitment to change—it’s a matter of choice and identity.

So if I commit to becoming a conscientious and engaged member of the team, the odds increase that my performance will improve without the enticement of short-term incentive programs or the threat of disciplinary actions.

Here’s an illustration of this personal commitment from the book Inside the Magic Kingdom by Tom Connellan:

Somxtimxs I gxt to thinking that what I do doxsn’t mattxr. But whxn I start thinking that way, I rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr. Most of thx kxys workxd finx most of thx timx. But onx day, onx of thx kxys stoppxd working altogxthxr. And that rxally mxssxd xvxrything up. So whxn I’m txmptxd to say, I’m only onx pxrson, it won’t makx much diffxrxncx if I don’t do this quitx right, I rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr. And I say to mysxlf: “I am a kxy pxrson and nxxdxd vxry much.”

It’s a great illustration that reinforces the importance of every employee’s unique contribution to product and service quality while demonstrating the value of each employee’s personal commitment to the success of the entire team.

What has your xxpxrixncx bxxn?

I was in New York City for a business trip a week or so before my 10-year wedding anniversary. One afternoon, I stopped by the Tiffany & Co. flagship store on 6^th Avenue to look at anniversary rings.

A thoughtful representative named Duncan showed me several rings as he explained some of the nuances of color, cut, clarity, and carat weight.

The rings looked magnificent beneath the showroom lights. I recall that of the half dozen or so rings that I looked at, there was one that I kept going back to. Duncan noticed it too. And, of course, it cost 25 percent more than the others.

After about 30 minutes together, I thanked him for his time and told him that I wouldn’t be buying the ring today. I mentioned that I had an appointment in two days with a representative at the Denver location of Tiffany & Co. He congratulated me on my 10-year anniversary and wished me luck in finding the perfect ring.

Two days later I arrived at the Denver location of Tiffany & Co. and met with a representative named Cynthia. Cynthia brought me into a private room to show me a set of anniversary rings that she had selected based on the criteria we discussed. As she revealed each successive ring, she would say something like, “Now, this ring combines the color you are hoping for with the mounting we talked about.”

After introducing several rings in this way, Cynthia produced the final ring saying, “Now, this is the ring that you were especially taken by when Duncan was showing you rings at the 6^th Avenue store on Tuesday.”

I was absolutely floored! I said something like, “Huh? What? How did you…?”

Cynthia sensed my astonishment, smiled, and then explained that she had received a call from Duncan shortly after I’d left the 6^th Avenue store and that together they had made arrangements for the ring to be shipped overnight from New York City to the Denver location of Tiffany & Co. in time for my appointment.

Duncan and Cynthia worked together to deliver customer service that was completely beyond the realm of customer expectation. I had no reason to expect that the ring I’d looked at in New York would be among the options made available to me in Denver.

Does this level of customer service influence sales? Guess which ring I bought?

I wrote to the president of Tiffany and Co. about his employees’ legendary service and committed to “never purchase a significant piece of jewelry from a jeweler other than Tiffany and Co.”

After customers make such a commitment, there is no coupon or incentive program out there that is strong enough to lure them—and their future spending—away.

How about you? What retailer or brand are you committed to and why?

How many of you enjoy standing in line, waiting to be served?

Long before Disney mounted large flat screen televisions to keep its guests entertained while waiting in line to see the next attraction, supermarkets have positioned tabloid newspapers near the checkout aisles to ease the inevitable delays that accompany grocery shopping after work and on weekends.

Even though most high volume supermarkets offer a number of self-service checkout stations, it’s not uncommon to wait in line behind two or more people for a station to become available. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw this banner posted prominently above the checkout lanes at my local Albertsons supermarket:

“OUR PROMISE: Never 3 people in line at one time.”

With this bold promise, Albertsons demonstrates its commitment to customer service. And, while I don’t know the particulars of its process to ensure lines don’t extend three customers deep, I bet it involves cross-utilization of staff—enabling store employees whose primary job role is something other than ringing up groceries to fill in as cashiers when needed.

Contrast this with an experience I had last week at a major national toy retailer where the lines ran at least three customers deep while four employees stood behind the “Customer Service” counter within view of the congested checkout lanes.

I know from experience that this retailer wouldn’t dare post a similar banner for two reasons:

1.) It lacks the underlying commitment to customer service needed to display such a banner.
2.) It does not have a process in place to ensure the promise would be kept.

In fact, most businesses lack the underlying commitment to customer service and processes required to make bold promises in the area of customer service.

Don’t take my word for it. Judge for yourself the next time you’re standing in line, waiting to be served at one of them—which should be any day now.