What sort of response do you get from service providers when you share a preference that’s outside of the norm?

Perhaps you prefer to have your bagel sliced and then cut in half. Maybe you like an ice cube in your black coffee so you can begin to drink it right away.

During check-in, if a hotel guest requests The New York Times be delivered to his room in the morning but the only newspapers offered are the local paper, The Wall Street Journal, and USA TODAY, how would most front desk agents respond?

Here are some expected responses:

• We don’t have The New York Times. You’re in Seattle.
• Sorry. We only have the local paper, The Wall Street Journal, and USA TODAY.
• We don’t offer The New York Times but I know they carry it at the Starbucks across the street.

Instead, if you know it’s possible to get The New York Times, why not list the papers offered and then say, “Let me see what I can do.” (It’s not like he’s asking for the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung—although the very best employees will find that newspaper too.)

When customers don’t have a strong preference, they’re likely to say something like, “Oh, it’s no big deal. I read The New York Times every day. The USA TODAY will be fine.”

If you sense otherwise, then this may be an opportunity to shine.

If you’re working the early shift tomorrow, why not swing by Starbucks on your way to work and then wow the guest by placing the paper outside his room—perhaps with a personalized note.

And if you are not working the early shift, then contract with a manager or another employee who does work the early shift. By doing so, you will make everyone’s job more interesting and wow a guest in the process!

Some employees will say, “If you do it for one guest, now you have to do it for every guest.”

That’s ridiculous. It’s an excuse used by average employees to deliver average customer service. It’s rationale used by those who either don’t want to go out of their way or simply prefer the predictable routine of treating each customer like the last customer—neither of which inspires loyal customers who will brag about you.

Besides, if more guests did begin to request The New York Times, then you should include it as one of the newspapers offered anyway.

Accommodating customer preferences is only as difficult as you make it. The next time you learn of a unique preference from a customer, project to him through your body language and voice tone that you consider his request to be reasonable and that, if there is a practical way to do so, you will make it happen.

Because of my work in the field of hospitality, I read quite a few books on the topic of customer service and thanks to great authors like Chip Bell, Scott McKain, Colin Shaw, and others, I always complete a book more prepared to serve my own clients.

Recently I was reading a book by Leonardo Inghilleri and Micah Solomon titled, Exceptional Service Exceptional Profit. I had already underlined several refreshing insights when, on page 43 of the book, I highlighted this sentence:

Individual customers are irreplaceable.

I was so energized by the sentence that I called to my wife in the other room to share it with her.

Conventional thinking about customer retention is that customers are replaceable. That is, when one customer leaves, there’s always another to take his or her place.

But the authors are not talking about the anonymous masses. They are talking about Mr. Lewis in room 512 who cannot access the Internet, Ms. Connor who’s been on hold with technical support for seven minutes (and counting…), and Mr. Garcia who is challenging an unexpected split plate charge on his check at table 17.

If Mr. Lewis, Ms. Connor, and Mr. Garcia are not satisfied with their experiences, they may choose to defect from one provider to another in search of improved quality, responsiveness, value, or a number of other factors. And because a majority of customers do not complain—you’ll never know that they left or why they left.

And here’s the scary part: Mr. Lewis, Ms. Connor, and Mr. Garcia are irreplaceable.

When they decide to quit doing business with you, they are gone. Forever. You may attract a new customer’s spending but you won’t receive another nickel from these three individual customers. Ever.

A great illustration of this truth is the cable industry. In 2006, cable TV companies had 68.5 million video customers. The number fell to 63.3 million in 2009, according to research firm In-Stat.

Why did cable customers defect? To save money? To get better quality? Or were they just tired of waiting for the cable guy to arrive between the hours of 9am to 1pm?

How much revenue does each customer represent to the cable company? My last cable bill was $119.79. That’s $1,437.48 per year. At that rate, my lifetime value to my cable company is significant.

Calculate the lifetime value of your own customers. Given that total, can you really afford to lose even one because of a lapse in customer service?

Recognize that when one of your customers (e.g., Scott Lewis or Jill Connor) defects, he or she is irreplaceable. And his or her lifetime contribution to your business—including future spending, feedback, and referrals—can never be replaced. Ever.

Many companies use terms like “guest” and “partner” to convey the intimacy they have with their customers but the reality is that most employees, when given the opportunity, do not behave as though they are serving a valued guest.

If you’d like to test this assertion, simply show up at your choice of retailer after it has closed for the day. Assuming you can make eye contact with an employee through the locked glass door, see if she is willing to do more than point at her watch and mouth the words, “We’re closed.”

Now, this is where corporate types jump in using words like: policy, procedure, overtime, security, protocol, etc. While all of their points are valid, it doesn’t mean they’re right.

To illustrate, imagine that you had planned a baby shower at your home from 1:00 to 3:00pm and that one of your guests was delayed for some reason and didn’t arrive until 3:15pm—after the event had officially ended and the other guests had left.

Would you refuse to open the front door and simply make eye contact with her through the glass side light panel, point to your watch, and mouth the words, “The party’s over”?

Of course not.

Then why is it acceptable to treat “guests” like that in a business setting?

If you’re going to cite the above list of policy, procedure, overtime, security, protocol, etc. as your justification for this behavior, at least stop referring to your customers as “guests.”

Instead, call them what they really are to your closing staff: a nuisance—an interruption; someone we accept money from during business hours but whom we’d prefer not to see after closing time until the next business day.

Just last week I was in Logan, UT. Being a coffee enthusiast and having read about the mountain grown, Triple Certified coffee at Caffe Ibis, I made it a point to stop by on the day of my arrival.

I showed up at 6:45pm and learned that the store closed at 6:30pm. I peered through the glass door and made eye contact with an employee who pointed to her watch and mouthed the words, “We’re closed.”

Before I returned to my car, however, an energetic employee named Natalie unlocked the front door and engaged me.

I mentioned that I was in town for one night from Denver and had hoped to try a cup of Caffe Ibis coffee that I had read so much about and pick up a pound of beans to take back home.

She said, “The machines are off and the register is closed but let me see what I can do.”

A few minutes later, she appeared with a steeping (literally) cup of coffee and a pound of Double French Roast Blend coffee beans.

I thanked her, paid her $15 in cash, and enjoyed a delicious cup of coffee back in my hotel room.

The following day, on my way out of town, I returned and spent another $28.05 on a latte, ground Espresso Roast Blend, and a Caffe Ibis t-shirt. That’s $43.05 in revenue from a guest that many employees would have labeled a nuisance—an interruption in their day.

And my purchasing hasn’t stopped. I’m back in Denver but enjoyed the coffee so much that I’m planning a repeat purchase of Double French Roast Blend coffee beans from their website. My potential future value to Caffe Ibis is significant.

If the first employee was my only impression of Caffe Ibis, I would have left empty-handed, kept my $15, and may or may not have returned the following day to spend another $28.05. And if I hadn’t experienced its coffee in Logan, I certainly wouldn’t be ordering it by the pound on-line.

This is key: Did the first employee do anything wrong? No. She was following policy. I get that. She was also behaving in a way that is usual, ordinary, and expected by most customers.

Natalie, on the other hand, treated me like her guest. She behaved in a way that was beyond what is usual, ordinary, and expected by most customers. She was refreshing and unique. As a result, she not only made a positive lasting impression, she made a sale!

More key points:

1.) Natalie recognized that, while her job function was to complete the closing checklist, the essence of her job—her highest priority—was to serve her guests.

2.) Her decision to open the locked door and engage me, unlike the completion of the closing checklist, was optional.

3.) And finally, her willingness to go the extra mile cost her employer nothing—it was free! In fact, it resulted in $43.05 in additional sales (and counting…).

Natalie created a promoter (that’s me).

Promoters are customers who not only buy your products/services, they wear your t-shirts, are less price sensitive, and recommend your business to others (as I’m doing now).

While the first employee’s service was ordinary, expected, and made me feel like an interruption in her day, Natalie’s was extraordinary, unexpected, and made me feel like a valued guest.

Care to comment? Be my guest.

Have you ever noticed the similarities between attracting a prospective customer and wooing a mate?

There are lots of similarities when you think about it. For example, before the relationship develops, there may be frequent but informal contact. In business, that may look like a weekly e-newsletter that over time (as trust is established) results in a client project. In a personal relationship, it may take the form of frequent encounters at the corner Starbucks.

As it blossoms, there is usually lots of attention and care given to the relationship. In business, this is evidenced by asking questions of understanding, attentive listening, clarifying expectations, and responding to needs. In a personal relationship, these behaviors also apply.

Another similarity is that after the honeymoon phase, personal attention and care tend to diminish. Clients tend to hear from you less often and may need to leave a second message before you respond. And your mate may long for the time when you looked dreamily across the table, a slight smile on your face, while hanging on her every word.

But today you have competing priorities and don’t feel that you can be as responsive as some customers and mates require. And for this reason, among others, not every story has a happy ending…

That said, there are actions you can take immediately whether serving a customer or someone with whom you have a bit more of a, shall we say, intimate relationship, that will keep their eyes from wandering to the “competition.”

Express genuine interest. With customers, this is accomplished by making eye contact, smiling, and adding enthusiasm to your voice. Also, asking questions about preferences and being responsive to needs signal genuine interest. Chances are, your significant other appreciates the same type of attention.

Offer sincere and specific compliments. Genuine compliments make everyone feel better about themselves. A compliment is verbal sunshine. Shine on.

Share unique knowledge. In a customer service setting, this means sharing knowledge that goes beyond job knowledge that is expected (e.g., hours of operation, return policy, etc.). Unique knowledge has character and substance. It is interesting, unique, and unexpected (e.g., the history of the location, privileged “insider” information, etc.). Similarly, personal relationships benefit by sharing insights and feelings that transcend the expected (e.g., “How was work?”) and demonstrate personal interest (e.g., “Tell me about your day.”).

Convey authentic enthusiasm. We all do this differently. Some are bubbly. Others are less animated but equally enthusiastic. It’s easy to detect whether at work or home. They move with purpose. The lights are on. They are engaged.

Use appropriate humor. The key word is appropriate. With customers you need to use discretion and keep it professional so as not to offend. In personal relationships, you have a bit more leeway. Either way, laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Provide pleasant surprises. Have you ever received an unexpected upgrade on a flight, at a hotel, or when renting a car? How did it make you feel? It’s a positive feeling that can be replicated again and again with something as simple as a card, a bottle of water, or a single rose…

Deliver service heroics. This sort of action is rarely required of us. It’s the exception, not the rule. But when the situation requires it and we go “above and beyond” in order to wow our customer (e.g., meet an overnight deadline) or impress that someone special (e.g., breakfast in bed), it makes a lasting positive impression that reaffirms her importance and reinforces the relationship.

My hope for everyone reading this post is that you would find some truth in it. Reflect on the quality of your own personal customer service to those people who matter the most to you at work and at home.

Are you developing relationships by demonstrating the types of behaviors outlined above or are you communicating indifference by merely going through the motions?

Be intentional about applying these behaviors and I assure you that your most important customers—both professionally and personally—will appreciate you for it and, most importantly, will only have eyes for you.

The other day, my family and I went to Dairy Queen for “Something Different” (the DQ slogan).

After waiting in line for a few minutes, our family of six made its way to the front of the line. Looking at the “scrumdelicious” pictures on the menus suspended above the counter, my youngest children could hardly contain their excitement!

Their eyes, wide with wonder, darted from one delectable menu image to the next. They smiled and began to giggle as they realized it was now our turn to order and that, within minutes, they would have their frosty treats in hand…

Smiling in response to my children, I looked up to face the counter employee. In sharp contrast to my children’s faces, her facial expression was matter-of-fact—even serious.

Her greeting consisted of, “Do you know what you want?”

She then robotically gathered information, processed the order, issued a receipt, and completed the transaction.

After we placed our order, my son Cole (age 9) and I waited off to the side for our order while the rest of the family found a place for us to sit on the patio.

I asked Cole, “On a zero to ten scale with zero being rude and ten being very friendly, how would you rate the girl who took our order?”

He said, “Six.”

I asked him why he rated her a six and he said, “Because she didn’t smile.”

I then asked him, “Was there anything else?”

And he said, “Yes, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

What Cole couldn’t put his finger on (because he’s only in third grade) is the leading cause of customer dissatisfaction: indifference.

In one survey, 68 percent of customers said they quit doing business with a company because of perceived indifference towards them as customers.

And here’s what is really scary: Most customer service providers are blissfully unaware of their own indifference. From their perspectives, they are efficiently executing customer transactions.

They may not recognize that what customers tend to remember the most are not the routine steps that make up transactions—they remember the demeanors and unique personalities of the employees who served them.

Behaviors like eye contact, smiling, and adding enthusiasm to one’s voice do more to convey appreciation for customers than any other aspect of a customer transaction.

These are the “little things” that make a lasting impression—and a real difference in customer satisfaction.

Last month, I enrolled my two oldest boys in lessons at the Breckenridge Ski & Ride School located at Peak 8 in Breckenridge, Colorado.

As it was over spring break, there were hoards of skiers making every line (from the ski lifts to the registration area) longer than usual. It’s situations like these, especially when kids are involved, that test the patience of employees and customers.

I decided to take this opportunity to observe the ski instructors who ran the ski school as well as the parents—many of whom were international travelers whose native language was not English.

Here’s what I noticed:

Efficiency. Although there were perhaps twenty employees total, there was an appearance that there were twenty registration agents, twenty equipment rental employees, and twenty ski instructors. That’s because they were cross-trained and easily redeployed to whatever function needed support.

Helpfulness. There was always someone available to hold a door open for little skiers encumbered by their equipment, help with fastening lift tickets to jackets, attach identification stickers to equipment, apply sun screen, etc. These are examples of the “little things” that leave big impressions on customers.

Assertiveness. Rather than sending me to the back of another line after she realized that I had pre-registered online, the registration counter employee excused herself to slip into an “employees only” area and collect my registration packet for me. Later, I noticed a parent who had arrived late with his child and was a bit uptight. Detecting this, one of the ski instructors assured the father, “We’ll stay with your son outside while you get checked-in.” Meanwhile another employee personally escorted him inside to facilitate the check-in process.

Engagement. The lights were on. People were at home. The ski and ride school employees consistently smiled, made eye contact, and added enthusiasm to their voices. These employees were engaged!

If you plan to have customer service differentiate your business, identify ways to more efficiently serve customers. Notice the “little things” that will leave big impressions and be assertive in providing them. Lastly, be engaged. Demonstrate to customers that there’s no place you’d rather be than right there, right now, serving them.

While the Breckenridge Ski & Ride School promises “mountains of discovery,” it’s clear that its employees also provide mountains of customer service.